lalkhiangte's weblog

Which type of woman are you?

Posted in Uncategorized by gkhiangte on July 6, 2016

 

Ask your woman self these-
Are you the type of woman who, when a woman gets eve teased, says well she was asking for it Or Are you the woman who says eve teasing is a crime against everyone and No one asks for it.?
Are you the type of woman who, when a woman gets raped, blames the victim OR Are you the type of woman who believes that rape is a serious crime no one deserves?
Are you the type of woman who, when a woman gets cyber bullied, takes potshots at your own woman never thinking that the same thing can happen to you?
Are you the type of woman who, when a woman gets violently harrassed, says well that does not happen to me so I’m couldn’t care less Or Are you the type of woman who stands up for her?
You decide which woman you want to be.
MHIP Day chibai ule 😍 spread love not hate.

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Woman, thou art better!

Posted in Uncategorized by gkhiangte on July 6, 2016

There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women. – Madeleine Albright

 

I am a woman in a patriarchal society. I have been living in it for all my life. I have been dealing with it all my life. If you are not familiar with what patriarchy means, I’m pretty sure you’re an alien from outer space. But let me still refresh your memory. Feminist theory defines patriarchy as an unjust social system that enforces gender roles and is oppressive to both men and women. It often includes any social mechanism that evokes male dominance over women. Feminist theory typically characterizes patriarchy as a social construction, which can be overcome by revealing and critically analyzing its manifestations. Prior to the widespread use of “patriarchy”, feminists used the terms “male chauvinism” and “sexism” to refer roughly to the same phenomenon. The patriarchal system was designed to favour men over women, but it disfavours both men and women in reality.

The point of this blog post is about my utter astonishment at how most women and girls still choose to ignore this fact. I mean am I the only one living in my society? Am I the only one experiencing eve teasing in the streets? Am I the only one facing sexist remarks in work and in social gatherings? Am I making all these up? I don’t understand how any woman could not understand what the other women are going through in such a society. Even if you choose to be ignorant about the history of violence and mistreatment of women, surely you must have heard or seen women around you being treated poorly by society! Even a blind mouse would see that! In adversity, women look to other women for guidance, support and encouragement. One of the things that really saddens me is that women frequently don’t support, or empathize with, other women in distress, thereby perpetuating gender inequality. I know most women have evolved a defence mechanism which helps us to function effectively in daily life. We block, or refuse to process, most instances of sexism, because it’s the only way we can function effectively. But enough is enough! It is time to speak up if you see something wrong.

For so long, women are not expected to voice uncomfortable truths in their social roles. They are expected to keep social interactions smooth, pleasant and comfortable. A woman who critiques, who voices dissent, is seen as “uppity”, “provocative” and “immature”. A woman who graciously accepts her ascribed role, with minimal fuss, is considered the epitome of wisdom and maturity. Very few women, therefore, want to open themselves up to social disapproval, ridicule and judgement by veering from the accepted social script.

Well, screw the script I say. Whatever happens to writing your own script, your own happy ending? Ladies, please, we are smarter than this. How long are you going to keep your mouth shut and pretend not  to care? Are you doing this just to please the male ego? Are you doing this because you want to be the prize? I seriously cannot fathom that any rational woman would want to be just a trophy wife or girlfriend and not be treated as a human being and with the same dignity and respect that she deserves just like the male counterpart.

I am very vocal about feminist issues and women issues and I would express my opinions whenever it needs to be heard. A lot of times some ‘well-thinking’ people or friends would tell me much like a warning that I would not get any husband if I expressed my opinion too boldly. Let me pause here for you to react appropriately. ______________

Yes! That’s what I thought. My initial reaction is always “WTF”, followed by the rationalization that I’m still living in a society where most people think that the highest achievement a woman can get is to get a husband! I’m not saying I’m against marriage. I do believe in marriages if you find the right partner. For me, marriage is partnership and not ownership, and sadly in this part of town, most marriages I see are of the latter. So excuse me, but I don’t feel I have to pretend to act in a way that is not true to my self. Believe me, It is so easy to pretend to massage male egos and act like ‘the lady’ they desire. But I refuse to do that because I’d like to believe that men are better than that and women wiser. So, who cares if I haven’t met any man who is secure enough to love a secure woman? Finding a partner isn’t the only ambition in my life.
It is 2016 and you would think with all the social media posts about women issues and violence against women in many parts of the world, women would band together and empathize with other women going through such atrocities. But no! There are still so many women taking pot shots at other women, calling each other ‘sluts’ and hurling all kinds of abusive words at each other online. For what purpose? To attract the attention of some lowly insecure boys? Come on! When are we going to learn that no one is in competition with each other and that we can all live a little peacefully if we just learn to get along? If that means supporting each other even though we may not experience the same thing, we should do it. I mean, logically, what is your act of acting like the damsel in distress-I can’t do anything without a guy-kind of attitude going to earn you? A husband? Maybe, but a misogynistic husband would be all you get and that is definitely not the true love you deserve. Are you scared that being your true self would scare away men? Don’t be, those aren’t real men anyway.

So, my dear fellow women, please let us smash the patriarchy which only hurts us all, and work towards achieving realistic career goals, family goals and whatever positive goals we set our hearts on. Remember, we can all do it together; no woman should be left behind. It only depends on you and your mindset. So, let me ask you this.  Are you woman enough to make this change? I know a confident woman would.