lalkhiangte's weblog

#Mean Girls

Posted in Uncategorized by gkhiangte on November 2, 2015

Recovering from bullying

Oh! I know a thing or two about mean girls. I was the subject of their torment in college years ago. Although I’m writing about the past, it still feels like it just happened yesterday. That’s how fresh the memory stays with you when you’ve been bullied. I didn’t know why some of the girls in my class hated me back then and I still don’t know why today. Was it because I was smarter than them? Was it because I didn’t pass nasty comments when people pass by like they did? Was it because I was a teacher’s pet? I don’t know. All I know is there were no possible reasons to make someone’s life miserable because they act a little different. Let’s face it we are all unique in our ways.

The whole episode happened in the first semester. No, they didn’t lock me up in a locker like we see in the movies, and that’s because, well, we didn’t have a locker. What they did was they just wouldn’t talk to me or hang out with me. They would pass nasty rumours about me that were totally untrue. They would avoid sitting next to me in class and so on.  I’m leaving out more details as they were too embarrassing to share. Of course, all these took place in a subtle way where most people wouldn’t notice. But I did. I felt horrible every single day I went to class. 

However, the guys in my class were cool so I hung out with them. I enjoyed their witty one liners and the times we shared creative script ideas. So basically, I didn’t lose out on male friends and it was much friendlier as there was no drama! The bullying stopped from second semester as it appeared they all wanted to be my friends all along and that it was just a misunderstanding…blah blah…(I forgave them of course being the nice girl I was)  Looking back, I don’t think I missed out a lot, I did have other friends outside college, they were mostly more mature and all working, so that made me more confident in my own skin. But the thing about not having same age group female allies at an age where you need it the most is that you feel left out. You feel like a weirdo and you feel like no matter how hard you try you just can’t fit in.

Today, as I’m sharing my story, I don’t know if I’ve been healed completely. Do you ever get healed even? What I do know, though, is that every time I see or hear girls or women acting mean towards each other, I get really sad. I find it unnecessary that we feel the need to one-up one another in some way or the other. Being mean to others is not cool and will never be. It does not help anybody, the victim or the bully! Let’s just say those who bullied me back then have ended up in places I don’t envy, and I’m not saying this in any degrading way but it’s just what it is. You give what you get.  

Today, as a result of such tormenting times, I have grown a thicker skin. I have become more confident in myself and I now know how to defend myself from bullies.  However, I have serious trust issues as a result and I tend to become a little too defensive and sometimes a little too aggressive. So you see, being mean to someone can scar a person for a lifetime. It takes years and years to pick up the pieces. I’m a grown woman now, but I still feel the pain every now and then. It does not matter if you’re a college student, a big officer or a mother, you can still be mean to others and it’s not okay. It is never okay to bully others in any situation. Think about it, if the same thing was to happen to you, would you think it was okay?

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