lalkhiangte's weblog

my therapy

Posted in Uncategorized by gkhiangte on January 23, 2009

its funny that people think that i dont feel love

that i have never felt love before and that i’m stone cold..

its just that i dont wear my heart on my sleeve.

i feel sad that some of my closest friends are really hurting from breakups

i just wanna say that im happy that im not them

yet i have this hollow state of mind that i may never feel that sweet love that everyone talks about

but i dont feel scared

times like these, i love to blog my feelings

i treat my blog as a therapy..

it helps try it

i know the last thing i want to do is cry my heart out

“my pain is beautiful”

Posted in Uncategorized by gkhiangte on January 20, 2009

Oxford dictionary defines pain as

 

1 a strongly unpleasant bodily sensation such as is caused by illness or injury.

2 mental suffering or distress.

3 informal an annoying or tedious person or thing.

 

For me,

Pain is a beautiful feeling that is real

It makes you bleed

It makes you cry

It makes you scream

It makes you want to die

It makes you want to live

It makes you hate

It makes you love

It is wonderful, this nauseating sensation

It is amazing how you look at life

My pain is mine

It is solely mine

Nobody can take it away from me

My pain is what makes ‘me’

“I feel, therefore I am”

i write, therefore i am?

Posted in Uncategorized by gkhiangte on January 15, 2009

sp_a0078 i was just happy the way things were

 i know i should be happier, but i’m not

 i don’t know why!

the hardest thing for me is to accept the truth

even if the truth is good

i cant stop to wonder if the truth is good for me

i was really comfortable living with doubt

now that my doubts are cleared,

i have nothing else to hope for

and i think “hope” is the only real thing i know

it is the only ‘truth’ for me

think/act

Posted in Uncategorized by gkhiangte on January 15, 2009

A friend of mine told me that I’m stone cold,

that I always build a fence around me.

He said that I never allow anyone to get in.

He told me that I listen too much to my head and not my heart.

He told me that my heart will lead me somewhere better than nowhere.

 

I know that all these are true.

I know that I shut people out.

I know that I’m scared to let anyone come close.

I am a coward and do not take a risk.

My friend said that when you love someone, you risk it all, you take a chance and risk losing everything you love.

He said that it is worth the try and that there is so much glory in losing after trying than not to try at all.

 

There is a constant battle between the inner workings of my head and my heart.

Little voices in my head keep telling me “No” and other voices in my heart say “Yes”.

There is a really thin line between the two

But I’m not ready to choose either one.