lalkhiangte's weblog

the ending begins!!

Posted in Uncategorized by gkhiangte on August 23, 2008

Sitting in my room smoking my last cigarette, listening to nelly’s “all good things come to an end”, remembering my days in shillong and weirdly feeling nostalgic. Really, why do all good things come to an end?

My roomie offered me a beer and I refused. Really, why do all good things come to an end? Here I am on the verge of crying and I don’t know why.

Things that I love most seem to be so far away from me. I guess I never had them anyway. I seem totally lost and confused.

I am so distant with what’s going on with my life. I don’t know what’s real. I don’t know what reality im living in. all I know is that my feelings are real and that I am hurting. My state of manic depression is kicking in again.

I am not sure who I am anymore or who I ever was. All I remember is that I was unhappy. Relentlessly unhappy.  

I cant describe how I feel. I wish I could let the tears roll down without any shame.

The thing is, it hurts more when I can’t cry


4 Responses

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  1. gkhiangte said, on September 24, 2008 at 5:30 pm

    yeah zo, things aren’t what they seem. the greatest trick man has is to hide his feelings. i believe that’s what we all do some times. i don’t think i can live a life like an open book with pages torn from all sides..the beauty of life is to not take everything at face value..our beginning is our end and our end can be our start..

  2. zorami said, on September 23, 2008 at 1:07 pm

    i can’t imagine that u actually wrote this!! u’re a different person altogether, here and as my neighbour. why??

  3. gkhiangte said, on September 1, 2008 at 12:46 pm

    yeah i guess i had just written it down to remind me that there are times like this..i don’t want to forget them.they are a part of who i am and who i will eventually become as a result. been busy lately with research and documentary work. i apologize for not blogging profusely! i hope blogging does not end. it is one of the good things! haha

  4. Kima said, on August 29, 2008 at 5:16 am

    Ah…. been there done that, a million times 🙂

    Happens everytime, everywhere. Don’t worry… with one end, comes another beginning.

    We should not be depressed about such endings, but rather cherish every moment we’ve spent. Things that seem far away, can be brought closer just by mere thoughts alone.

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