lalkhiangte's weblog

the ending begins!!

Posted in Uncategorized by gkhiangte on August 23, 2008

Sitting in my room smoking my last cigarette, listening to nelly’s “all good things come to an end”, remembering my days in shillong and weirdly feeling nostalgic. Really, why do all good things come to an end?

My roomie offered me a beer and I refused. Really, why do all good things come to an end? Here I am on the verge of crying and I don’t know why.

Things that I love most seem to be so far away from me. I guess I never had them anyway. I seem totally lost and confused.

I am so distant with what’s going on with my life. I don’t know what’s real. I don’t know what reality im living in. all I know is that my feelings are real and that I am hurting. My state of manic depression is kicking in again.

I am not sure who I am anymore or who I ever was. All I remember is that I was unhappy. Relentlessly unhappy.  

I cant describe how I feel. I wish I could let the tears roll down without any shame.

The thing is, it hurts more when I can’t cry