Ask your woman self these-
Are you the type of woman who, when a woman gets eve teased, says well she was asking for it Or Are you the woman who says eve teasing is a crime against everyone and No one asks for it.?
Are you the type of woman who, when a woman gets raped, blames the victim OR Are you the type of woman who believes that rape is a serious crime no one deserves?
Are you the type of woman who, when a woman gets cyber bullied, takes potshots at your own woman never thinking that the same thing can happen to you?
Are you the type of woman who, when a woman gets violently harrassed, says well that does not happen to me so I’m couldn’t care less Or Are you the type of woman who stands up for her?
You decide which woman you want to be.
MHIP Day chibai ule 😍 spread love not hate.
There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women. – Madeleine Albright
I am a woman in a patriarchal society. I have been living in it for all my life. I have been dealing with it all my life. If you are not familiar with what patriarchy means, I’m pretty sure you’re an alien from outer space. But let me still refresh your memory. Feminist theory defines patriarchy as an unjust social system that enforces gender roles and is oppressive to both men and women. It often includes any social mechanism that evokes male dominance over women. Feminist theory typically characterizes patriarchy as a social construction, which can be overcome by revealing and critically analyzing its manifestations. Prior to the widespread use of “patriarchy”, feminists used the terms “male chauvinism” and “sexism” to refer roughly to the same phenomenon. The patriarchal system was designed to favour men over women, but it disfavours both men and women in reality.
The point of this blog post is about my utter astonishment at how most women and girls still choose to ignore this fact. I mean am I the only one living in my society? Am I the only one experiencing eve teasing in the streets? Am I the only one facing sexist remarks in work and in social gatherings? Am I making all these up? I don’t understand how any woman could not understand what the other women are going through in such a society. Even if you choose to be ignorant about the history of violence and mistreatment of women, surely you must have heard or seen women around you being treated poorly by society! Even a blind mouse would see that! In adversity, women look to other women for guidance, support and encouragement. One of the things that really saddens me is that women frequently don’t support, or empathize with, other women in distress, thereby perpetuating gender inequality. I know most women have evolved a defence mechanism which helps us to function effectively in daily life. We block, or refuse to process, most instances of sexism, because it’s the only way we can function effectively. But enough is enough! It is time to speak up if you see something wrong.
For so long, women are not expected to voice uncomfortable truths in their social roles. They are expected to keep social interactions smooth, pleasant and comfortable. A woman who critiques, who voices dissent, is seen as “uppity”, “provocative” and “immature”. A woman who graciously accepts her ascribed role, with minimal fuss, is considered the epitome of wisdom and maturity. Very few women, therefore, want to open themselves up to social disapproval, ridicule and judgement by veering from the accepted social script.
Well, screw the script I say. Whatever happens to writing your own script, your own happy ending? Ladies, please, we are smarter than this. How long are you going to keep your mouth shut and pretend not to care? Are you doing this just to please the male ego? Are you doing this because you want to be the prize? I seriously cannot fathom that any rational woman would want to be just a trophy wife or girlfriend and not be treated as a human being and with the same dignity and respect that she deserves just like the male counterpart.
I am very vocal about feminist issues and women issues and I would express my opinions whenever it needs to be heard. A lot of times some ‘well-thinking’ people or friends would tell me much like a warning that I would not get any husband if I expressed my opinion too boldly. Let me pause here for you to react appropriately. ______________
Yes! That’s what I thought. My initial reaction is always “WTF”, followed by the rationalization that I’m still living in a society where most people think that the highest achievement a woman can get is to get a husband! I’m not saying I’m against marriage. I do believe in marriages if you find the right partner. For me, marriage is partnership and not ownership, and sadly in this part of town, most marriages I see are of the latter. So excuse me, but I don’t feel I have to pretend to act in a way that is not true to my self. Believe me, It is so easy to pretend to massage male egos and act like ‘the lady’ they desire. But I refuse to do that because I’d like to believe that men are better than that and women wiser. So, who cares if I haven’t met any man who is secure enough to love a secure woman? Finding a partner isn’t the only ambition in my life.
It is 2016 and you would think with all the social media posts about women issues and violence against women in many parts of the world, women would band together and empathize with other women going through such atrocities. But no! There are still so many women taking pot shots at other women, calling each other ‘sluts’ and hurling all kinds of abusive words at each other online. For what purpose? To attract the attention of some lowly insecure boys? Come on! When are we going to learn that no one is in competition with each other and that we can all live a little peacefully if we just learn to get along? If that means supporting each other even though we may not experience the same thing, we should do it. I mean, logically, what is your act of acting like the damsel in distress-I can’t do anything without a guy-kind of attitude going to earn you? A husband? Maybe, but a misogynistic husband would be all you get and that is definitely not the true love you deserve. Are you scared that being your true self would scare away men? Don’t be, those aren’t real men anyway.
So, my dear fellow women, please let us smash the patriarchy which only hurts us all, and work towards achieving realistic career goals, family goals and whatever positive goals we set our hearts on. Remember, we can all do it together; no woman should be left behind. It only depends on you and your mindset. So, let me ask you this. Are you woman enough to make this change? I know a confident woman would.
We start learning from the time we are born till the time we die. Learning can be a big challenge. However, Unlearning is as important as learning itself and sometimes it is a bigger challenge to unlearn and to re-learn. I have listed some things I could unlearn in my life because unlearning is a mother of learning.
- Unlearn what society say is beautiful and learn what I think is beautiful.
- Unlearn what my Sunday School Teacher said are evil and learn what is pure first in order to know what’s evil.
- Unlearn my parents’ warning against strangers and learn that unfamiliar can become familiar.
- Unlearn the social conventions and learn newly set principles defined by me.
- Unlearn what people think of me and learn to embrace what I think of myself.
- Unlearn stories told by others and learn to tell my own stories.
- Unlearn relationship rules and learn to create new rules.
- Unlearn the limited boundary of imagination placed by schools and learn to think outside the box.
- Unlearn that failure is a bad thing and learn that failure can help me figure out my real potential in times of desperation.
- Unlearn trying to fit it and learn that when I’m comfortable with myself I’ll belong.
- Unlearn that happiness is attained from outside and learn that happiness is already within me.
- Unlearn that self-love is selfish and learn that when I love myself first I can love the world better.
- Unlearn that being in love is the ultimate goal and learn that falling out of love is just as fine.
- Unlearn that crying is a sign of weakness and learn that being vulnerable and showing emotions is what humans do.
Tute nge Church Bully te chu?
Khawvelah hian ‘Bully’ hi an tam khawp mai a. ‘Bully’ tih chu Mizo tawng chuan mi endawngtu, mi tihrehawmtu, hnuaichhiahtu, midangte mahni thuhnuaia dah tum rantu tih te pawhin a sawi theih awm e. Mizote hi Kohhran chhungkuaa awm leh khawsa kan ni deuh ber mai ti ila kan ti sual thui awm love. Kohhranah hian hetiang kan sawi ‘Church Bully’, kohhran zinga tel pawh ti nuamlo rum rum hi an awm em tih han thlir dawn teh ang.
Mahni thu duhte:
Kohhran rawngbawlna peng hrang hrangah rawngbawltuten thahnemngai takin hna an thawk thin a, a ropui hle. Hetih rualin thenkhat chu thahnemngaih luat lutuk vang nge ni midangte ti tuilo thei hial khawpin hma an la thin a. Midangte ngaihdan lak pawh hrehin, mahni thiamna leh finna hmangin hmasial takin thu an ti tlu thin fo. Kohhran Committee zingah pawh hetiang mahni thuduh leh mahni tha tih ang agenda kaltlangpui duh tlat an awm thin. Upa zingah pawh mipuite kheuh thiam riau ang chi an awm ve fo.
Rawngbawltu senior intite:
Rawngbawlnaah a lo tel hnem tawh leh tel rei tawh te an awm teh meuh mai. Anni tel lo chuan Kohhran rawngbawlna pawh thui tak a kal theih awm love. Amaherawhchu, thangthar leh kohhrana lo tel thar leh in hmang tharte tan an hnawksak ve duh fo. Committee-na hrang hrangah an tel kim lawi si a, midangte thu ngai chang lovin, anmahni lo hriat hnem tawh atangin thurel an ti tlu fo. Member dangte rilru senna tur zawng zawng an dal thin bawk. Inthlahrung takin a la junior deuh ten an ngaihdan an han sawi ve dek dek a, anlo hau ti tih zel duh mai bawk a, hei hian rawngbawlna a tithuanawp duh chawk. Tin, Rawngbawltu senior thenkhat thu duh takte hian ‘kan ti hnem tawh alawm’ ti ni awm takin kohhran hnatlang emaw chet velna reng rengah, an che tha duh lem lo bawk. Tawng erawh an chuh fo zui.
Sawisel sur sur tute:
Kohhran chu Kohhran Hruaitute Committee hrang hrang thurel bawhzuia kal leh hmasawn a ni a, hemi kawngah hian kohhran mipuite hian chanvo kan nei ve a. Hruaitute thurel lo zawma, lo bawhzuipui hi a ni. Kan duhdan ang kherin an rel lo ang, mihring chi hrang hrang awm khawm kan ni a, duhdan leh ngaihdan a inang thei lo hrim hrim. Chutiang kara mipui zinga lo tawngthei fal emaw hruaitute thurel lo sawisel rengtu an awm thin. Heng mite hi kohhranah an hnawksak duh hle. Midangte rilru sukthlek an ti chingpen duh bawk. A hunlaia mahni rilru sawi chhuak duh silo leh hruaitute pawhin an ngaihdan an zawh laia engmah sawi tha duh silo an ni duh chawk. Mahni puak chhuaka rilru senga thurawn tha tak pek tur nei chuang silova, eng pawh lo sawisel ching an ni duh bawk.
Mi incheidana lo buaite:
Kohhranah hian a mak khawp mai, Pathian be tura kal theuh theuh, kan agenda erawh a dang thei hle awm e. Thenkhatin, rilru leh tihtakzeta Pathian pawlna an neih laiin, mi inchei dan ringawt lo buaipui an awm thin. ‘Chumi khami pawnfen chu a chhing lutuk, a sam tihdan a maksak lutuk’, tih tein an lo khei nasa thin hle. Heng mite hian Kohhrana tel an ti nuamlo thei hle. Thinlung chhungril lam en lova pawnlam lan dan ringawt lo buaipuitute hi mi mita khanchhuk la chhuak hmasatute chu an ni mai lawm ni?
Langsarh duh luatte:
Kohhran rawngbawlna hi Lal Isua khawngaih rawngbawl hna ani tih hai khawpa mahni lansarh duh vang leh miten tha min ti se tih ni awm taka rawngbawltu an awm bawk. Heng mite hian anmahni hmalakna tih lansarh an ching hle a, mite fak hmain anmahni leh anmahniin an in fak zung zung thin. An hmalakna chu a tha lo pawh a ni lo, mahse ‘mahni in fak leh sakhi ngalah engmah a bet lo’ tih an sawi angin miin engahmah an ngaihloh phah fo. Rawngbawltu dangte hmalakna chu thlawp tha duh chiah silo leh lawmpuina pawh hrilh duh manglo anni duh bawk.
Heti zawng hi tun tumah chuan lo sawi ta ila, a dang pawh in hre treuh awm e. Engpawhchu ni se, Church Bully nihloh i tum theuh ang u!
This #TeenTalks is a direct result of an invitation I got from YWCA of Aizawl to speak to teenagers of St. Joseph Higher Secondary School, Ramhlun as part of the Mental Health Awareness Programme.
Teenagers today particularly the generation born during 1990s seem to be going through a lot of social anxiety and pressures. They witness the massive explosion of the Internet and consequently social media which can be very intimidating at so many levels. Suddenly, they can see and hear about everything going on in the other parts of the world. This instant visibility of different mediated cultures across the media certainly has an impact on the teens.
First of all we need to understand who we are as humans? Let us reflect what the Bible says:
~ Psalm 139:14
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
~ Sam 139:14
I hnenah lawm thu ka hrilh ang che, hlauhawm tak leh mak taka siam ka ni si a;
I thiltihte hi mak tak a ni a; chu chu ka nunna hian a hre chiang hle a ni.
~ Genesis 1:27
God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
~ Ecclesiastes 7:2
This only have I found: God created mankind upright, but they have gone in search of many schemes.
Ngai teh, hei hi ka hriat chhuah tak chu a ni:
Pathianin tluang taka nung turin mihringte a siam a, anni erawh chuan an tikhirhkhan zo vek a ni.
Understanding Teenagers and Social Problems
Teenagers gain an increasing amount of independence from their parents as they enter middle and high school. Unlike the early years, kids in this age group often look to friends instead of parents for guidance. The pressure to fit in and be part of the “cool crowd” clouds the judgment of vulnerable kids. Now let’s look at some of the common problems faced by teenagers today:
-Body image issues/ Low self esteem
– Ambition/Job/Career/future goals
Teenagers are in the stage where they go through a roller coaster of emotions. It is biological and it is quite normal. This is a period when they feel nobody understands them, nobody gets them. It is a period when they are going through figuring out who they are as a person, trying to find their own identity and voice. Of course it is naturally tough to try to fit in with everybody and at the same time trying to be unique.
On a daily basis, teens influence their peers on everything from clothes to illegal activities. Why do they allow themselves to be swayed by peers? Fitting in and avoiding taunts is a major factor. No one wants to be left out. Kids who are curious about a certain behavior may decide to try, particularly if they think everyone else is doing it. Drinking or smoking at a party is a good example. A teen may decide to satisfy his curiosity if all of the other party guests are consuming alcohol.
Peer pressure results in poor decisions made by teens. A child who is on the fence about engaging in risky behaviors often goes along with the crowd to fit in, abandoning his own better judgment. Even teens who have refused to participate in a given activity in the past may eventually give in under peer pressure. Negative choices that routinely occur to fit in include:
-Leaving others out of the group or making fun of them
-Bullying other teens, either physically or verbally
-Engaging in sexual activity
-Breaking curfew and disrespecting parents
-Consuming alcohol or drugs
Positive Peer Pressure
While peer pressure is usually associated with negative behaviors, it is worth noting that some peer pressure results in positive outcomes. Teens have the power to use peer pressure positively by encouraging peers to make better decisions. For example, one teen might encourage a friend to avoid participating in risky behaviors or stand up for a bullying victim, thus pressuring the bully to stop.
Body Image Issues
Teens today are easily influenced by what they see on the mass media: TV, Magazines, Internet and especially social media. The media is not helping in any way when it constantly supplies an endless array of what it thinks is beautiful. The media certainly plays a major role in providing a socially misconstrued image of reality to teenagers today. It could be easier for adults to decipher what is true and what is false representation of reality but it is certainly not easy for teens. Therefore, when teenagers see a young girl wearing massive amount of makeup or showing a lot of skin, they think it is what their counterparts think is ‘sexy’ and would want to look just like that girl. Social media such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat etc are influencing teens today in doing just that. The struggle to look like the next hot body, or the next pretty face is real for these teens.
There is nothing wrong in trying to look beautiful but when it reaches the level of hating one’s own natural beauty, it becomes a problem. Consider the enormous amount of fairness beauty products being sold online among these groups on Facebook or whatsapp. Someone will post a picture of a fairness cream aptly translated as “Ngona” in Mizo on one of these social media, and hundreds will immediately respond to it wanting to buy it. It continues to add to one’s concern when young girls start taking drugs to look more fair or thinner. There is very little concern about health when it comes to their idea of ‘beauty’. Beauty does come with a price indeed.
You want Kylie Jenner’s lips. You want David Beckham’s abs. You want to look like the next Korean superstar. There is nothing wrong in looking beautiful, but the danger comes when you hate your own God Given beauty.
Young people fall in love and it is beautiful. The problem with today’s love story is that people die. Real love stories start to reflect reel love stories and it is scary. Teenagers take it the hardest when it comes to heartbreaks. It appears as if today, if you get your heart broken, you can’t live any more. This truly is sad news and we need to tell our young teens that it is okay to fall in love just as it is okay to fall out of love. They need to be reminded that they are still young and have ample time to find their truelove at the right time. They are going through what we call as infatuation and they need to understand that sometimes it does not last. As Christians, teens need to know that God has the best plans laid out for them in terms of a partner and that seeking His Counsel first is the first step to finding a lasting relationship.
Another related concern is the over sharing of private lives on social media.
The constant sharing of one’s relationship statuses and problems on Facebook can become a degrading tool for these young people. It’s okay to express one’s feelings but sometimes there needs to be a line drawn in order to save teens from getting publicly humiliated. Parents and elders need to lookout for such behavior online to protect their kids from getting hurt further more.
A lot of young people in our State are suffering from unemployment problems. In trying to find the reasons for it, one thing that comes to my attention is that people at a young age do not have a clear set mind on their ambition.
The lack of setting a clear goal at their age is certainly one of the reasons for not getting a good job. We need to start teaching teens today that if they want success in jobs, they need to earn it. There is no shortcut or an easy way to success.
They see rockstars on TV doing their thing and living the rockstar lives and teenagers here want to live just like them. What they do not see or rather what they choose to ignore is the fact that these stars actually earned every penny they spent. They worked tirelessly mastering their craft and their success stories involve real struggles. Teens need to know that anything they want to attain in life worth attaining, they need to work for it. When you work hard for your goal, the reward is that much sweeter.
We hear increasing number of teens suffering from depression today than any other time. This is not shocking looking at all the things mentioned previously. Teens have an added pressure they face today and it cannot be easy. However, we also need to know that most of the problems we face are self inflicted and that many of us like to play the victim card. Teens need to know this truth and face the hard facts of life. A friend of mine is a certified Clinical Psychologist and has been giving counseling to those in need and what she has told me is harshly true. She has observed that most patients coming to her are suffering from neurosis; their problems are self inflicted and think that they cannot come out of their problems. Now, this kind of hopelessness and weakness need to be addressed seriously. We need to motivate people in making them become their own heroes and not always rely on others to help them out. At the same time, there are serious cases that cannot be put aside. The number of teens ending their own lives is truly heartbreaking and we need to do everything we can to prevent suicide. Teens need to be reassured that they are not alone in this fight for mental health. Mental Health Awareness programmes such as this, is a good step towards securing a healthy head space for these teens.
We also need to educate our kids to talk about it openly, discuss their problems with family members or friends or experts. Teens need to know that they can get help and that help can come in different forms. There are an amazing group of psychiatrists, psychologists and counselors who are ready to offer help to those in need. In all these, I wish to say that real healing can only come from God who created us, and who knows us inside out more than anybody. We only need to seek Him and He will give us the answers that we need.
Lastly, I am extremely grateful to be able to talk to the teenagers here today. I hope our Hashtag Teen Talks have helped you in some ways. I truly hope it will motivate you to become the best person you can become. Remember, nothing holds you back than your own insecurities and being young may make you feel inferior in many ways, but do not let that dissuade you like it is written in the Bible, 1st Timothy 4:12 “Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young”.
The keywords here are-‘Do not let’. It means it is up to you whether you let anyone look down on you or not. We need to know that we are powerful and can do anything that we set our hearts on with God’s help.
Like youngsters say it today #YOLO: You Only Live Once, so let’s live it to the fullest and brightest just as God intended for us! #Peace&Love
Sidenote: All pictures are borrowed from the internet 🙂
Recovering from bullying
Oh! I know a thing or two about mean girls. I was the subject of their torment in college years ago. Although I’m writing about the past, it still feels like it just happened yesterday. That’s how fresh the memory stays with you when you’ve been bullied. I didn’t know why some of the girls in my class hated me back then and I still don’t know why today. Was it because I was smarter than them? Was it because I didn’t pass nasty comments when people pass by like they did? Was it because I was a teacher’s pet? I don’t know. All I know is there were no possible reasons to make someone’s life miserable because they act a little different. Let’s face it we are all unique in our ways.
The whole episode happened in the first semester. No, they didn’t lock me up in a locker like we see in the movies, and that’s because, well, we didn’t have a locker. What they did was they just wouldn’t talk to me or hang out with me. They would pass nasty rumours about me that were totally untrue. They would avoid sitting next to me in class and so on. I’m leaving out more details as they were too embarrassing to share. Of course, all these took place in a subtle way where most people wouldn’t notice. But I did. I felt horrible every single day I went to class.
However, the guys in my class were cool so I hung out with them. I enjoyed their witty one liners and the times we shared creative script ideas. So basically, I didn’t lose out on male friends and it was much friendlier as there was no drama! The bullying stopped from second semester as it appeared they all wanted to be my friends all along and that it was just a misunderstanding…blah blah…(I forgave them of course being the nice girl I was) Looking back, I don’t think I missed out a lot, I did have other friends outside college, they were mostly more mature and all working, so that made me more confident in my own skin. But the thing about not having same age group female allies at an age where you need it the most is that you feel left out. You feel like a weirdo and you feel like no matter how hard you try you just can’t fit in.
Today, as I’m sharing my story, I don’t know if I’ve been healed completely. Do you ever get healed even? What I do know, though, is that every time I see or hear girls or women acting mean towards each other, I get really sad. I find it unnecessary that we feel the need to one-up one another in some way or the other. Being mean to others is not cool and will never be. It does not help anybody, the victim or the bully! Let’s just say those who bullied me back then have ended up in places I don’t envy, and I’m not saying this in any degrading way but it’s just what it is. You give what you get.
Today, as a result of such tormenting times, I have grown a thicker skin. I have become more confident in myself and I now know how to defend myself from bullies. However, I have serious trust issues as a result and I tend to become a little too defensive and sometimes a little too aggressive. So you see, being mean to someone can scar a person for a lifetime. It takes years and years to pick up the pieces. I’m a grown woman now, but I still feel the pain every now and then. It does not matter if you’re a college student, a big officer or a mother, you can still be mean to others and it’s not okay. It is never okay to bully others in any situation. Think about it, if the same thing was to happen to you, would you think it was okay?
–Mizo Kristiante hi ‘critic’ țha kan ni em?
(As published on Emmau Vol. XXVI No.20. 2014. A Bi-monthly Bulletin of KTP Kulikawn Branch)
He thupui ‘Kritikal Kristian’ tiha ka rawn dah hi a sap tawng chuan ‘Critical Christian’ tihna a ni mai a. A Mizo tawng taka dah dawn chuan Pu L. Keivom ziak dan ang takin “Kritikal Kristian” tih te pawhin a dah theih awm e. A thumal ‘Kritikal’ tih hi sap thumal ‘Critical’ emaw ‘Critic’ tih atanga lak a ni a, chumi awmzia chu mi lehkha ziak emaw artiste-te thiltih endika sêl tu tihna a ni ber a. Entirnan, film chhuak thar apiangte lo en a, a hmuhnawm leh hmuhnawmloh thu tehna hrang hrang hmanga ziaka sawi thinte an ni. A film siamtute tan heng ‘critic’ ho hi a chang chuan an hnawk duh thin hle reng a ni. ‘Critic’ zingah awmze nei tak leh zahawm taka endik thin an awm laiin, a tam zawk hi chu sawisel satliah peih tak tak an awm bawk. Chung mite chu film siamtute tan an ngeiawmin, an film ti hming chhetute pawh an ni thei hial awm e.
Keini Kristiante pawh hi kan nitin nun, kan rawngbawlnaah hian ‘critic’ kan lo ni ve thei reng mai a. ‘Critic’ tha nge kan niha ‘critic’ tha lo tih erawh kan in zawh fo a țul ngei ang! Kan kristian pui te kan va endik ang hian keimahni lam hi endik kan cho ve em? Mi thusawite leh an chetziate kan lo thlirin, kan lo en chîkin, eng nge an sawi leh dawn a, an tihleh dawn tih chângin kan lo in ring reng thin lo maw?
Tirhkoh Paula pawh kha a hun laiin, Korinth khuaa mi thenkhatin anlo sawisel nasa hle a, an sawiselna tam zâwk chu hetiang hi a ni:-
a) Paula lehkhathawn te chu a khauh a, mahse a takah a âwmnêm a, a țawng pawh a sitawm (2 Korinth 10:10)
b) Paula kha hruaitu tha a ni lo, lam hla atang chauhin a huai, a takah chuan a nêm leh duai (2 Korinth 10:10)
c) Paula kha thusawi a thiam lo (2 Korinth 10:10)
d) Paula kha a rinawm lo (2 Korinth 1:17)
e) Paula khan Korinth kohhran atanga sum-a tanpuina a lak duhloh avangin an ngaihdan a ni lo (1 Korinth 9: 1-10)
f) Korinth kohhran kha Paula kaihhruaina hnuaiah khaw dang kohhran aiin a theuneu zâwk (2 Korinth 12:13)
g) Paula kha Tirhkoh ni turin a tling lo (2 Korinth 11:5)
A chunga tarlan ang hian Paula khan sawisel a hlawh nasa ve hle a. An sawiselna ho hi en ta ila, a dik chiah em? A ‘fair’ em? tih kan hretthiam thei awm e. Hetia insawisel vak vak hian inpumkhatna a tichhe thei hle a, kohhran-a kan rawngbawlna pawhin harsatna a tawk nasa thei hle.
Tũn hun hi lo en ta ila, ringtute hi Korinth khuaa mite ang hi kan lo ni ve mai em? Mi tihsual châng rengin kan khawsa em? Bible-a kan hmuh angin Pharisaite pawhin Lal Isua leh a zirtirte tihsual châng rengin an mit leh beng an lo chhit țhin kha! Mizo ringtute zingah pawh mahni țhuthmun ațanga sawisel thiam kan tam hle. Khawvel thiamnate lo sangin, social networking site-ah te ‘armchair critics’ kan tih mai mahni țhuthmun ațanga sawisel thiam em em kan tam ta tial tial mai chu a ni e. A sawia sawithiam mai ni lo, a sawia sawisel thiam; a tiha tih ni lo, a tiha tihnawk thiam kan tam ta hle. Matthaia 12:30 ah chuan “Tu pawh ka lama tang lo chu mi do an ni; tu pawh mi lâk khâwmpui lo chuan an tidarh a ni” tih kan hmu a, kan sawisel ringawta a siam that lam kan thawh si loh chuan, a tidarhtu mai kan ni tih a chiang hle. Khawvela kan awm chhung chuan mihringin harsatna leh duhthusamlohna kan nei ngei ang, sawisel pawh a theih awm e, mahse, kan dinhmun theuha kan lungawilohna (problem) a awm chuan a siamthatna(solution) erawh kan zawng ngei tur a ni. A ‘committee’ a tel si lova, kan lo sawisel vak vakte hi a fel ber lo mai thei e. Thil țha zawk leh tihdan tha zâwk kan hria a nih chuan inhrilh tawn mai hi a fuh zawk hmel. A ni lo va, sawi ringawta, a chhe lai siamthatu kan nih leh si loh chuan, hmabak ropui tak kan thlen a rinawm teh chiam lo. Hnam changkâng zâwkte tihdan lak pawh hi a țha zawk lawm mawni le ka ti țhin? Hmai chhanah an in hrilh pawp mai a, a hnuleha sawi chhunzawm vak tur a awm tawh chuanglova, rilru-ah an pai reng tawh lo a ni. Taksa leh thlarau hriselna atan pawh hetianga tih chîn hi a țhat zâwk ngei a rinawm. Lang tlang taka nun mai hi a hahdamthlak zâwk bawk ngei ang le.
Ringtute hian midang kan va sawiselna ang bawk hian keimahni leh keimahni hi insawisel emaw inbihchiang ngam ta zawk ila, kan thlarau nun tan leh nitina kan nun kawngah pawh hma kan sâwn ngei ang tih ka ring tlat. ‘Critic’ țha ni tur chuan mahni kan in man chian hmasak a tul awm e. Bible pawh hian mahni inbihchianna (Self Introspection) hi a lo ngai pawimawh hle ni tur a ni, hmun tam takah kan hmu a, hetiangin:-
Mi tin awm dân hi mahni mitah chuan a dik tih a ni a; Nimahsela, Lalpan thinlung a bũk thin.
I Timothea 3:9
Chhia leh tha hriatna thiangin rinna thurũk chu pawm mi an ni zâwk tur a ni.
Mi, eng mah ni si lovin, mi lian deuhva a inruat chuan mahni a inbum mai a ni. Mi tinin mahni thiltih fiah theuh zawk rawh se, chumi hunah chuan midang chung ni lovin, mahni chung chauhvah chhuan tur a nei ang.
2 Korinth 13:5
Rinnaah chuan in awm emaw, nangmahni ngei inchhin thin ula; nangmahni ngei infiah thin rawh u. A nih loh leh, nangmahniah Isua Krista chu a awm tih nangmahni ngeiin in hre fiah lo vem ni?
1 Petera 1:10,11
In chunga khawngaihna lo thleng tur thu hril lawktu zawlneiten, Krista Thlarau anmahnia awm chuan Krista tuarna turte chu a hriat lawktir laite khan, eng hun nge ni, eng ang hun nge ni a hriattir thin tih chhui chhuah tumin, chu chhandamna chanchin chu an zawng a, ngun takin an chhui thin.
Ringtute chu kan ringtupuite dâwm kâng tu tur kan ni a, kohhranah pawh kan in țanpui tawn dial dial tur a ni. Pathian duh dan lova thil tisualtute chu hmangaihna nena an thatna tura kan thunun a nih si loh chuan, kan lo ngaimawh viau a, kan lo sêl vak hian awmzia a nei thui awm lo ve. Rom khuaa mite hnenah heti hian Tirhkoh Paula chuan lehkha a thawn a, “Chuvangin, I insawisêl tawh suh ang u, tu pawhin mahni unau dâlna emaw, tlũkna emaw siam loh tum zawk rawh u”. Rom 15:1-2 ah chuan heti hian Paulan a sawi leh a: “Chutichuan, keini mi chakte hian mahni lâwmna zawng lovin, mi chak lote chak lohnate chu kan tuarpui zâwk tur a ni. Mahni vêngte tihsâwt nan an țhatna turin tihlâwm I tum țheuh ang u.”
Jakoba 4:11-12 ah heti hian kan hmu a:-
“Unaute u, insawichhe tawn suh u. Tu pawhin a unau a sawichhiatin emaw, a unau a sawisêlin emaw, Dân a sawichhiain Dân a sawisel a ni; nimahsela, Dân I sawisêl chuan Dân zâwmtu I ni lo va, rorêltu I ni zawk e. Dân petu leh rorêltu pakhat chauh a awm, chhandam theia tiboral theia chu. Nang thenawmte sawisêltu chu tu nge maw I nih le?”
Matthaia 12: 35 ah chuan ti hian kan hmu leh a:-
“ Mi țha chuan a ro bâwm țha ata thil țhate a theh chhuak thin a, misual chuan a ro bâwm chhia ata thil chhiate a theh chhuak thin. Tin, ka hrilh a che u, mi ten thu lawilo an sawi apiang, chũng thu chu rorêl niah chuan an sawi fiah a la țũl ang. I thu chuan thiam a chantîr ang chia, I thu vek chuan thiam loh a chantîr bawk dâwn che asin”.
Midangte dik lo taka kan hêk emaw kan sawisêl vak vak hian keimahni mawng kan hlim mai a tih theih awm e. Rorel niah chuan kan tehna ngai bawkin minla teh vek dawn si a. Chuti taka mahni leh mahni kan inbihchian theih chuan, midangte kan hrethiamin kan ngaidam thei dawn a lo ni a. Kan zui ber Lal Isua hian midangte ngaidam thei turin min fuih nasa hle a. Ngaidamtu dinhmun hlu tak min neihtir te hi kan ngaihpawimawh thiam chu a țul hle ang. Rang taka midang thil tihsual kan va dem vak hian Lal Isua lâwm zâwng a nih a rinawm lem lo. Ringtute berin midang kan ngaihdam theih tlat loh chuan, tunge maw ngaidam chuang ang le? Matthaia 7: 1-5 a kan hmuh angin keimahni tihsual leh tlinlohna hi chu kan hmu mawh duh khawp mai a, midangte tlinlohna chhe te erawh chu kan hmu zung zung lawi si.
Lehkhaziaktute leh Pharisai vervêkte ang khan pâwn lamah kan lo duh tui viauvin, midangte kan lo hmu tlinglo viau thei a, mahse, keimahni thinlung chhungril berah chuan vervêkna leh sualnain kan lo khat reng thei a lo ni. Kan Lal Isua-in lehkhaziaktute leh Pharisai vervêkte a hauhna kha hre reng ila, “Nangni hruaitu mitdel, thosi thli faia sanghawngsei lem si thinte u!” min tih loh nân Lal Isuan dân thu pawimawh zawk a tih te- felna te, khawngaihna te, rinawmna te chu ngaihpawimawh zawk I tum theuh ang u! (Matthaia 23: 23-27)
A tawp berah chuan keini Kritikal Kristian te hi ‘critic’ țha-‘Ngaidamtu Kristian’, mahni leh mahni in bih chiang ngam kristiante kan nih țheuh theihna turin Lalpa Thlarau Thianghlim chuan mal min sawm sak theuh rawh se!
Here are some tips for my dear Mizo guys looking for their perfect match. If you are smart enough and you really want to date a Mizo girl, you need to pay attention.
I’ll start with 10 points and continue with others in the next blog.
- Do not, under any circumstances, talk about how hot a Victoria Secret Model is. We get it, they are perfect with their endless legs and sexy asses. We Mizo girls can never measure up to them. So, stop drooling over the models infront of us. You can drool in the comfort of your own room.
- Do not tell us you have a crush on the gospel singers viz, Pensy and Fiona. We already know they have beautiful voices and are easy on the eyes too. We do not need to hear it from you. Thank you.
- Do not let us know that your Mom still makes the bed for you. It is a big turn off. Period.
- Do not ever tell us we need to exercise. You may think you are doing us a favour but you are not. We understand it as, “Baby, you are getting FAT, I really think you should work out to lose the weight”. Seriously?!!
- Do not, at any point, interject us while we are talking, even if we are not making any sense. Let us have our moment and you will be pleasantly surprised afterward.
- Do not call us ‘Babe’ or ‘Baby’. It is common. Be creative. Think of something new to call us.
- Do not buy expensive gifts if you do not have the money. The last thing we need is material stuff. Trust me, we girls have that covered. Try giving us something that you made with your bare hands. Be romantic. Be original. Personalize your gifts.
- Do not call us ‘Nula Senior’ just because we have a job. I know women mature faster than most men, but that doesn’t mean we are old. Call us old when we are 80.
- Do not talk about your ex girlfriend. Like Ever. We may nod as if we empathise with what you went through, but in reality, we do not give a rat’s ass. That ex-girlfriend’s name should never ever be mentioned, even by accident.
- Do not ever compare us with other girls. This is a recipe for disaster. If you really like to take the relationship forward, you will have to appreciate the good in us.
I have been born a Mizo and I have always felt like a Mizo. (Whatever that is) Nowadays, every one is talking about ‘going back to one’s roots’ and ‘loving one’s own culture’ and so on. This led me to thinking, How Mizo do you have to be to be a Mizo? Are there levels? What is being a Mizo any way? All my life I thought i was just as Mizo as the person next to me, my neighbour, my best friend and my dog. With a pair of jeans and a hair colour that changes every six months, I felt like a Mizo just as any other Mizo person out there. I didn’t know wearing a traditional dress was the only way to become a real Mizo!
I understand that the older generation wants to preach to the new ones about the importance of wearing one’s own traditional dress. They are only trying to make us more MIZO! I am a little confused as to what constitutes a Mizo in the first place. Blood-tribe-location-facial prominence-Dress? Which is it? Personally, I associate being a Mizo with ‘Tlawmngaihna’ first and foremost. I think that is the only thing that really sets us apart from other cultures. That selfless act of pure sacrifice for others- nothing can beat that. I don’t really care about how you look as long as you have a good heart! Right? Apparently not. It seems we need to play ‘dress up’ in order to show that we belong to a certain tribe.
‘Image is everything’ says the Kardashian clan. If you don’t know who they are, then you do not really care about Image. If image is what we aim for, we Mizos are pretty good at creating the Mizo Brand. Sunday -Christian Mizo image, Puan- wearing –Virgin- looking Mizo women, formal shirt-wearing-church-going men, you get the drift. I do not have a problem with the way we want to dress. I think its classy and smart. It becomes my problem when the way we dress is not backed up by substance. It’s all style and no substance. I care more about the inner workings of a person’s heart rather than the way a person appears to be. Yes, I enjoy watching ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’ but I also know it’s not ‘Real’. So, which image do we want others to see in us? The fake or the real?
Young Mizo kids today are enamoured by Korean styles and everything Korean. There is a strong reason for it. Korea is cool. Korea is hip. Korea sells and it sells big time. Now, I don’t ever recall Korea forcing its culture down our throats, we gladly welcomed it with open arms. Now there’s something we can actually learn from them before we brand them as bad influence to our society. You see, we need to re-package Mizo culture! In order to do this we first need to re-define what Mizo is. With all due respect and no offence to our forefathers, maybe its time to change our perceptions with the changing times. Let us be accommodating. A Mizo can be a traditional-dress-wearing man, a Mizo can be a young kid with green spiked hair. The sooner we accept this, the more comfortable we will be. Instead of focusing on the way we dress, why don’t we teach the true values to our young generation? True values like Honesty, hard work, self -sufficiency, and of course being true to one self more than anything else. We do not have to force any one to buy the Mizo culture. They will when they see something they like. Our job here is to re-package it.
For instance, you can’t force anyone to wear a traditional dress on their wedding day. Instead show them how good it feels to be a Mizo. Re-wrap the Mizo Dress and sell it to them. (metaphorically). If we see what we like, we buy it. Simple as that. People may flinch and say ‘you can’t sell culture, its absurd’! Well, let me burst your bubble, Culture has been commoditized since paper became money. We have been buying the western culture for years haven’t we? What about Mizo culture? Do we have anything worth selling? Can we sell? The answer is Yes. We can sell our family values, our never ending allegiance to God, our humility, our smiles.. the list can go on forever. The important thing here is to re-package our cultural products. How do we do that? I do not have all the answers, but I will give one example.
Repackage Tlawmngaihna. I think this is by far the most prominent value that Mizo people have. If we can sell this to us, we can sell it to the world. You may have heard the word “UBUNTU” which has its origin in African saying which goes- ‘I am because we are’. In short it talks about being a good human being to each other. Now this word/value has been repeatedly discussed by world famous people like Nelson Mandela and Oprah. They are repackaging Ubuntu and selling it to the world. I know we have also taken pride in our Tlawmngaihna but in recent times, it has taken a back seat. Maybe, we need to put it in a nice bottle and gift wrap it with a sweet note.
Be creative and sell me my Mizo and I shall buy it willingly. You don’t need to force it down my throat. Sometimes, all you need is to serve it with a spoonful of sugar.
P.s.: I am a Mizo as much as You!
No nicotine patches work like they promise
No substitute can replace the actual
No legal bans can stop me from consuming
No friend can persuade me to stop
No celebrity can inspire me to act right
No beverage can cool down my urge
No amount of sneering stares can hold me back
No hypnosis can trick me to give up-
This bad habit
I dearly want to quit!